A Hard Talk
by Algol H
Summary: Robin and Kid Flash sit down and have a heart to heart about relationships. Humor.


_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"You really should lay off Megan," Robin said. He was sitting at a vast computer console, typing at high speeds. Kid Flash had just slumped into a computer chair beside him, sighing.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"What are you talking about?" the speedster asked, his voice breaking.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"Wally, it's obvious you just hit on Miss M again, and she totally blew you off," Robin smirked, "Again."

Kid Flash jumped up, "Dude! Did not!"

_Tick-_

Robin turned. He gave Kid Flash a blank stare.

The Kid's face fell. He slumped back in his chair.

Robin smirked.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Wally whirled around in his chair, sliding beside Robin and leaning his head on a fist, "I just don't get it, Rob," He gestured forcefully with his free hand, "When was the last time Kid Flash failed to woo a woman?"

Robin's face feigned thought, "Every time."

The Kid glared at Robin. Bathed in the electric glow of the monitors, Robin kept a straight face.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"Besides," Robin started, "Ems is totally with Superboy."

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

It was like an explosion:

"WHAT?" Kid Flash blurred out of his seat and began ricocheting around the cave. His chair shot across the room and shattered to pieces on the far wall. It was a hurricane of yellow spandex as far as the eye could see, and it was knocking things over, sending stacks of paper flying, twirling towards the ceiling. Robin's cape was being battered about every which way from the sheer force of Wally's speed, though he typed on undeterred. Amidst the gale, one could barely make out a steady stream of the choicest curses the English language could muster.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

The Boy Wonder smirked, "Look on the bright-side, Wally."

_Ticka-tacka-tick -_

Red gloves gripped Robin's costume and hoisted him away from the keyboard. Wally shoved his face directly into Robin's, "What – bright-side – Robin?"

The Boy Wonder shrugged, "At least Zatanna wants in my tights."

Kid Flash's eye twitched dangerously, he raised a fist when- _BLAM_- a flash bomb went off. When Wally's eyes re-adjusted Robin was gone, but a faint cackling hung in the air.

Wally whirled around, shaking a fists at nothing, "This isn't over, Rob! This isn't over! I'll get you back, man! With God as my witness!"

"Hey Wally!" M'gann chirped as she floated into the room followed by Superboy and the Sphere.

Kid Flash jumped at her voice. He slowly turned his head around to face them, his face scrunched up and his whole body tense as a spring. He mumbled, "Heymegan."

Conner cocked an eyebrow, "Um, who are you yelling at?"

His teeth clenched. He started sweating, "Noone."

M'gann and Superboy looked at each other, then turned back to Wally, "Then, why were you yelling?" M'gann asked.

For a few tense, awkward seconds there was nothing but silence before-

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Robin was mysteriously back at his keyboard, typing away, "Wally's practicing for a school play."

"Oh!" M'gann's face lit up, "That's so cool, Wally!" She beamed at him.

Under the Martian's smile the speedster loosened up a little, but when he turned to face them fully his movements were jittery and his smile was oddly exaggerated, "Yep! Y-you know me! A natural born thespian!"

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

The Sphere started to roll around the room, beeping anxiously. Superboy, noticing, turned to M'gann, "He's getting antsy."

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"D'aww!" M'gann cooed, floating over to the Sphere and petting him. She turned back to Robin and Wally, "We promised him a walk if he," she paused, blushing a little, "if he, ah, left us alone for a little while."

Wally's eye twitched. Robin smirked, "That's cool for you guys. You three are becoming quite the little family."

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Wally's fists clenched. His back straightened painfully as his face turned a delicate red.

M'gann didn't notice, and beamed at Robin, "I know, right?" She put an arm around Conner and dragged the three of them together. Conner scratched the back of his head. The Sphere let out an electronic coo.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Wally's face had surpassed red to become a sick shade of purple.

"Wally," Conner asked with a look of mild concern, "Are you alright?"

Robin grinned so hard it was almost audible.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Wally barely managed coherent speech, "Yafine. Angryface. Fortheplay. Youknow. Justpracticing. Angryface."

Robin laughed, "You might want to work on it. You look more constipated than angry. Like you ate too many cheesy burritos or something."

Conner and M'gann laughed. Even the Sphere let out a series of amused beeps.

Wally's eye twitched rapidly.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"Say. Robin." Wally turned to him, his eyes narrowing and his teeth grinding, "MaybewhentheygoforawalkIcan-HELP-youwithyourwork."

"Thanks, but no need." Robin ticked a final tack on the keyboard and his progress saved, "I just got done." Robin stood up and headed towards and exit, "Now it's off to Gotham, you know, for bat-stuff."

The alien couple waved at him.

"Seems like you never get a break, man," Conner said.

Robin shrugged as he reached the doorway, "Well, you know what they say," he looked directly at Kid Flash, grinning, "No rest for the wicked."

Wally's eye twitched so fast it looked as if it was about to fly off his face.

"See you guys tomorrow!" the Boy Wonder said as he disappeared into the shadows.

Wally's breathing was heavy and fast. His ears nearly steamed. His pulse was beating a murderous tattoo against his skin.

The Sphere let out a series of high-pitched beeps.

"Calm down, boy." Superboy said, patting the alien machine.

"Well, we're off, then," M'gann chirped, "bye, Wally!"

"See ya, Wally!" Conner called over his shoulder.

"Yeah," he stammered, "Bye."

As the aliens left the room, Kid Flash did nothing but quiver violently for a few seconds before letting out a profound sigh. He slumped dramatically and proceeded to slug his way over to another chair by the computer. He flopped into the seat dejectedly, and for a few moments he simply stewed.

"What happened here?" Aqualad asked, looking around the room at the broken chair and all the loose papers. He walked over to Kid Flash.

"O-Oh!" Wally stuttered, looking around the room for an answer, "U-um… would you believe nothing?"

The Atlantean looked at him quizzically.

"I mean, I don't know? I mean, I think it was something to do with Robin!" He added quickly.

"Hmm," Kaldur walked over and took a seat beside Wally at the computer console, "Well, I suppose it won't take too long to clean up. But first I have to work on my daily report to Batman."

Kaldur pulled his seat up to the keyboard and began typing.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

Wally stared at the keyboard.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

His eye started to twitch.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

His lip pulled up in an unconscious snarl.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_

"AAAAAAAH-!" echoed throughout the cave as Kid Flash blurred off in a yellow streak of rage.

Aqualad looked up after his teammate. The chair the speedster had been sitting in was swirling around rapidly.

"Huh," Kaldur wondered, "Was it something I said?"

He shrugged, and turned back to his work.

_Ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka-ticka-tacka_


End file.
